I really didn’t give it much thought this year, the last thing on my mind was what I needed to improve in myself during 2012 cause apparently I was going through what most new mothers suffered from last week … Sheer holiday exhaustion! I thought it was depression at first then I started hearing from fellow mommies how last week was emotionally and physically straining, read at least three posts by mommy bloggers describing the same situation, two of which Spoke directly to me Moments of Exhilaration and Life love and Baby. So it just hit me today … I’m not going crazy! Almost all the other mommies I know of felt the same way! Maybe it’s the holidays and the fact that I went out of my way and stayed up on several nights cooking, baking, decorating, and crafting to make sure my precious baby’s first holiday is a special one and stressing about every little thing that didn’t go my way. Somehow I turned into a “Stepford wife” wanna be and strived to get everything perfect which can be extremely stressful cause everything was far from it! Because I’m only human and the goal of unattainable perfection was … Well … Unattainable.
I came back to earth yesterday when my blood pressure spiked for the 2nd night in a row. The last time this happened I was 34 weeks pregnant and was forced on bed rest followed by an emergency C-Section a few days later. My husband and I were very worried last night since we don’t have proper care in Liberia so I did some research on home remedies and that is how my New Years resolution found me:
“Persons suffering from hypertension must get at least eight hours of good sleep, because proper rest is a vital aspect of the treatment.” I’ve been barely getting three or four hours of sleep! ” Most important of all, the patient must avoid over strain, worries, tension, anger, and haste. He or she must develop a calm and cheerful attitude and develop a contented frame of mind “ guilty of all the above! I’ve stressed about the silliest things like my milk supply, getting in shape before my sister’s wedding, are my plants thriving, is the house squeaky clean, all the meals just HAVE to be made from scratch!! I freaked out because I wanted to blog and didn’t get a chance to for a few days, then freaked out again because my blog is still not as organized as I want it to be, stressed about organizing the baby pictures, ordering in his first baby book, designing and printing out the bedtime story I wrote him, stayed up till 3 am one night to finish organizing the guest bedroom in preparation for my mom’s visit (she didn’t even buy a ticket or set a date or even confirm if she is coming at all) … like I said the silliest things to worry about!
So this will be my New Year’s resolution, apparently stress finally got a hold of my body and some changes need to be made, besides I owe it to my amazingly patient hubby and precious baby to be happy and healthy. Happy New Year everyone and to the mothers who blogged about their feelings and their challenges last week thank you for having the courage to share your thoughts they have made a huge difference to me and taught me not to be so hard on myself because the truth is that I’m less than perfect and that’s ok.
P.S. For more information on dealing with hypertension click here
… and baby Amir is still teething, which is messing with his nap time. But amazingly enough he still manages to throw a few smiles my way… I just read Moments of exhilaration’s post about how difficult Mondays are sometimes and she explains it pretty darn well …. what a relief it is to know that someone out there is going through the same challenges and an eye opener that it will be this way for a while (her baby just turned one and mine is just 6 months old)… I wouldn’t trade being a full-time mom for anything in the world … I can honestly say that I’m currently living the happiest days of my life, but sometimes too little sleep and no contact with adults for hours at a time can get to you!
The main reason I dread Mondays the most is because Shaun (hubby) has to go to work after a weekend with us, he helps a lot with Amir when he is home and life is not as chaotic as it is during the week. When Mondays come I have to get used to doing it all by myself again: feeding, entertaining, or soothing a teething baby who won’t take his nap and is glued to your hip while pumping milk every two hours and getting errands done! How did our mothers do it??? sometimes I wish we had more than two arms!
That said, today I felt like my baby grew overnight! he looks like a young man now! above is a picture when he was one week old and another taken this week! I can’t believe how much he changed he doesn’t even look like the same baby … so I’ll take intolerable exhausting Mondays in exchange for more time with him … before I know it he will be teenager who runs away from my hugs and kisses.
I’m still updating my projects page:
Below is today’s addition to the Baby Christmas Advent Calender
Click here to see the progress of my little garden
click here to see how I’m doing with my post-pregnancy diet
I know its only been five months and three weeks since my C-Section and that I should give my body a chance until its been nine months to start seeing real weight loss results but the fact of the matter is I can’t afford to wait that long … my sister’s wedding – which is expected to be THE wedding of the season (Enshallah)- is coming up and I need to look my best! Its bad enough that when she had her engagement party one week after my delivery I still looked very pregnant! (Somehow the belly isn’t so cute when there is no baby inside anymore).
So back to the plan … While back home I went to this amazing nutritionist who gave me a personalized post-pregnancy diet plan … It actually worked well, I lost 20 pounds in two months but with my travel and taking care of baby Amir I somehow lost my way. I want to get back on track and lose my remaining 20 lbs it should be easy enough all I have to do is monitor what I eat especially when those hunger pangs kick in between pumping, play time, bath time and rocking baby to sleep. So I will post everything I eat everyday under my health and fitness page (an idea I borrowed from Relaxed Focus) to motivate myself and to refrain from eating unhealthy snacks (it’s so easy to rip open that bag of chocolate chips when no one is looking!)
I also researched some baby and mommy workouts and I stumbled upon this great exercise plan at Mama Moderne that I really want to try … I spend most of my time rocking and walking around the house trying to put baby to sleep anyways might as well kick it up a notch wish me luck and look out for my daily progress. Here’s to no cheating!