I miss blogging

I have been away for a while trying to keep up with my New Years Resolution … some major de-stressing has been going on, I’m just enjoying life with my baby, hubby and little monster puppy (who is ironically called Angel … more about that later).

Of course some crazy does surface every once in a while … like today when I got upset because my hubby said that if I wanted to exercise so badly I should try to skip a pumping session … needless to say it upset me, I mean pumping becomes a religion  if you want to exclusively breastfeed your baby who would only take the bottle. You try your best to use your pump every two hours, otherwise all your hard work is lost when your milk supply goes down… Thank God again and again for my hands free pump ( I should really make time to write a review about that).

But other than that Life has been good, my bundle of joy is growing so fast, he had his first taste of baby cookies yesterday it was the cutest thing to watch! he would tap on the milk cup when he needed to wash it down.  Just seeing his little mouth moving in a chewing motion yesterday made my day and reminded me again that my baby is growing too fast! We have been introducing sign language recently but it seems like he established his own signs right around the same time. He finds a way to point and reach for the things he wants and its very exciting!

Daddy introducing the cookie

Eating his cookie like a pro!

I’ve been meaning to write a post since I got my hands on my new Christmas gift … my Macbook Pro … I’ve been taking my time to get acquainted with it since I’m new to Mac, hence the delay in posting anything new. I didn’t realize how important blogging has become to me, its my outlet to the outside world, my  way to breath, to be myself, to get my thoughts down and make sense of my new life and my new role in this world. I was worried today that I have a few minutes to spare and I couldn’t think of something to write about, I do have some reviews that I would like to get out there but I wanted to post something more personal and I decided to just start typing and just like that I started to feel the tension in my shoulders disappear … I think this blogging thing is becoming a part of me and I have to say I LOVE it!

How my New Year’s resolution found me

I really didn’t give it much thought this year, the last thing on my mind was what I needed to improve in myself during 2012 cause apparently I was going through what most new mothers suffered from last week … Sheer holiday exhaustion! I thought it was depression at first then I started hearing from fellow mommies how last week was emotionally and physically straining, read at least three posts by mommy bloggers describing the same situation, two of which Spoke directly to me Moments of Exhilaration and Life love and Baby. So it just hit me today … I’m not going crazy! Almost all the other mommies I know of felt the same way! Maybe it’s the holidays and the fact that I went out of my way and stayed up on several nights cooking, baking, decorating, and crafting to make sure my precious baby’s first holiday is a special one and stressing about every little thing that didn’t go my way. Somehow I turned into a “Stepford wife” wanna be and strived to get everything perfect which can be extremely stressful cause everything was far from it! Because I’m only human and the goal of unattainable perfection was … Well … Unattainable.
I came back to earth yesterday when my blood pressure spiked for the 2nd night in a row. The last time this happened I was 34 weeks pregnant and was forced on bed rest followed by an emergency C-Section a few days later. My husband and I were very worried last night since we don’t have proper care in Liberia so I did some research on home remedies and that is how my New Years resolution found me:

“Persons suffering from hypertension must get at least eight hours of good sleep, because proper rest is a vital aspect of the treatment.” I’ve been barely getting three or four hours of sleep! ” Most important of all, the patient must avoid over strain, worries, tension, anger, and haste. He or she must develop a calm and cheerful attitude and develop a contented frame of mind “ guilty of all the above! I’ve stressed about the silliest things like my milk supply, getting in shape before my sister’s wedding, are my plants thriving, is the house squeaky clean, all the meals just HAVE to be made from scratch!! I freaked out because I wanted to blog and didn’t get a chance to for a few days, then freaked out again because my blog is still not as organized as I want it to be, stressed about organizing the baby pictures, ordering in his first baby book, designing and printing out the bedtime story I wrote him, stayed up till 3 am one night to finish organizing the guest bedroom in preparation for my mom’s visit (she didn’t even buy a ticket or set a date or even confirm if she is coming at all) … like I said the silliest things to worry about!

So this will be my New Year’s resolution, apparently stress finally got a hold of my body and some changes need to be made, besides I owe it to my amazingly patient hubby and precious baby to be happy and healthy. Happy New Year everyone and to the mothers who blogged about their feelings and their challenges last week thank you for having the courage to share your thoughts they have made a huge difference to me and taught me not to be so hard on myself because the truth is that I’m less than perfect and that’s ok.
P.S. For more information on dealing with hypertension click here